Journalist/Model Nassia (@nassia__) and her Creative Producer/DJ friend Ashley (@ashleymikimak) talk IRL about honesty and lying. How do, or don’t they serve us? Can we change misconceptions and stereotypes of being educated and in the fashion industry? And must we be strictly defined as introvert or extrovert? Read the conversation below and share your thoughts on our Instagram (@lesgirlslesboys).
Q: Who do you lie to and why?
N: I lie to myself! “Everything’s going to be fine!” I say when really it’s not going to be fine! But if you’re honest about that then you can be proactive like “okay… what do I need to do in order to fix these problems?”
A: And then you’ve got me!
N: Yes exactly! Then we have each other to tell everything’s going to be fine!
Q: Do you lie on social media?
N: I lie on social media when I want to be alone or don’t want any attention, like “yeahhhh, sorryy, I was on holiday that’s why I didn’t reply to you…”
Q: Is social media getting more honest?
A: It is but then it’s not.
N: It isn’t. You usually have the first phase of a social media network, like Facebook or Instagram in the beginning… we were all so honest. But as time goes by you tend to curate it more. Remember when Instagram stories launched we used to put up like… ‘Ashley eating a pancake’ or something…
A: All your photos were just of your friends. You didn’t care where you were. It was just to show you were living, not a certain type of life, just that you were living. I think it’s trying to be honest, maybe with the younger generation and their bare face ‘this is my body’ movement.
N: But that’s all still curated.
A: It is curated, I agree.
N: You’re celebrating no makeup selfies but actually you’re still saying ‘I’m wearing no makeup…’
Q: Tell us something true about yourself that people don’t believe.
A: I’m actually shy but people think I’m quite extra. It’s not that I’m judging or sassing, that’s just me. Once you’re my friend we’re friends but when the relationship doesn’t form naturally people think I'm stush… but I’m actually shy.
N: I think part of the problem is that we try to categorise people as extroverts or introverts but we’re actually both. People don’t believe that I have two Masters. They say ‘no you’re just a pretty face’, but I work hard! I read!
A: They just see the stereotype of you as a model right?
N: They think that if you’re into fashion you don’t read…
A: I see you more from the academic side and as a journalist.
N: Probably because we have talked a lot.
Q: Please can you share a time you’ve been really honest with yourself or someone else and it paid off?
A: I’m not going to name names, but, when you're basically in a situation, say at work… and you feel like you’re being mistreated… If you don’t say anything you build resentment and it gets worse. You could loose your cool instantly. But it pays off when you actually just say it then and there in a professional, calm way… you’re not going to get fired, you’ll be fine… You just need to lay it and then all will be good.
N: I think it’s good being honest with yourself, because sometimes we tend to tell ourselves ‘oh it’s going to be okay’ or ‘I'm happy with my job’ or with your relationships or friends… but it’s okay to say “I’m not happy” because then you can do something… you're a step closer to making a change when you acknowledge you’re not happy with something.
A: It makes you feel so much better and empowered
N: yeah but then it’s a bit scary isn’t it?
A: You feel like ultimately you’re going to get fired but how can you get fired for standing your ground and being honest with someone?
N: And so when has honesty not paid off? Maybe when you’re honest without doing the thinking… like in the work situation for example, if you tell someone who’s more senior than you are without actually thinking about it… if you consider the reasons it’s maybe clearer to communicate. So it doesn’t pay off being honest if you haven’t been through the thought process of your feelings
A: Yeah definitely.
Q: Does honesty serve people or work against them?
N: Honesty’s just a bit easier; people take you more seriously as well if you’re direct and straightforward. It makes relationships easier.
A: I think it’s a bit of both, y’know, because it depends on a person’s opinion. Honesty is your honesty, it’s not fact. So in a black and white context, I totally agree, but if it’s not called for… In certain situations I don’t feel like everything needs to be shared. You need to suss out how someone’s going to take it. Before you put it out there, think: is this going to benefit them or make them feel insecure?
Q: Who’s the most honest person you know?
N: Ha yes, good. Yeah obviously you.
A: I know everything about you.
N: Yeah I think with good friends even if I lie to you you’re like “…babe…”.
A: Yeah true. You can lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me.
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